Never Watched One Piece

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Blissfully unspoilered One Piece noob takes the plunge and wades through the eight-hundred plus episodes of One Piece for the first time.POSTS: Monday, Thursday, Saturday. TWITTER:
thdray1 Will answer questions there too.DISCUSSION: If you want to join in the One Piece chat, I"ve set replies to week-long followers only (as spoiler protection). Reblogs work, though, so I"ll answer from those too.

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393: “The Target is Camie! The Looming Clutches of a Professional Kidnapper”

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You know you’re lowlife scum when Zoro insults you by asking if you need directions.

Urgh…

There are a lot of creepy people in this arc. Not good creepy like Moria. I mean bad creepy. Bad creepy like Spandam. But these new creepy people aren’t even funny or charismatic (let’s face it, Spandam had his funny moments between psychotic breaks). They’re just hateable. Every sordid inch of them is hateable.

A weird pattern has also developed over the last couple of episodes. Ever since the Strawhats docked at Sabaody Archipelago, episodes have started out in a light-hearted fun and adventure-filled manner before plunging rapidly into grimdark territory with hardcore Themes and Issues.

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Needless to say, I took full advantage of the calm before the storm moment, when the Strawhats waved goodbye to Shakky and set out to search for Rayleigh.

They had been told the errant Rayleigh would most likely be found in the lawless groves (because he’s allergic to Marines). If they couldn’t find him there, he also had a fondness for Sabaody Park. Naturally, the Strawhats only heard “Sabaody Park” and made a beeline for it.

They went on all the rides! Rollercoasters, drop rides, waltzers, a ghost house, and the ferris wheel. Since Brook is about eighty and had been drifting in the Florian Triangle for ages, he had never seen a rollercoaster before. His first time on one was hilarious. “Oh, this is moving so gently. What a beautiful view–”

His screams of terror amused me.

He sat on the bench and drank tea for a while to recover. xD

Then he saw the drop right and thought, “Yes. This slow and careful rise to a high viewpoint is just the thing for me. Gentle rides like this are more my style—OH SHIIIIIIIIIT–” as it plummeted towards the ground at breakneck speed.

Then the Strawhats ripped the arse out of the waltzers and I laughed so hard because that exact thing happened to me when I was a kid at high school (as in we stayed on for four turns, decided on the fourth we would spin as fast as we could, almost broke the ride, got kicked off, and I ended up being sick I was so dizzy. xD Our school was banned from the amusement park that day. Not because of us, though! Some other kid got caught shoplifting.)

I felt their waltzer-induced pain. xD

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Oh, and Brook scared a kid outside the ghost house, which was hilarious.

The Ferris Wheel held slightly deeper meaning. Camie finally realised her dream to ride the ferris wheel at Sabaody Park! She had dreamt of it as a little mermaid, when she would peep out of the water and swim up to grove 13 to gaze in amazement at all the pretty, sparkling lights, wondering what it might feel like to be up as high in the sky as the ferris wheel climbed.

She teared up as she caught the view of the ocean from above and said to Luffy she would cherish the memory forever. She felt so lucky. The only reason Hachi and Pappug even let her come to Sabaody Park was because the Strawhats were strong and no one would possibly try to steal her while the Strawhats were around. Right?

Wrong.

The kidnappers who coveted Camie at the end of episode 393, told a creepy dude called Petermann about Camie. In return for capturing her, the kidnappers were promised ten percent of the sale.

Creepy Petermann dressed up as a bear and stood behind Camie breathing heavily into his bear head. We didn’t see the kidnapping take place, but we definitely heard poor Chopper freaking out about it when he phoned Sanji to tell him the bad news.

I felt bad for laughing at Chopper, but his opening line was so hilarious it caused a genuine lol to take place. He screamed down the phone at Sanji: “BASICALLY, THEY HAVE SO MANY KINDS OF ICE CREAM.”

I died of laughter.

Upside is, we will be seeing Duval’s beautiful face again much sooner than I expected because Sanji is calling in that favour to help find Camie!

The second half of the episode was dedicated to revealing the existence of yet another gross Celestial Dragon.

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The Supernovas were all having a great time fighting each other and then Urougue spied a useless drip riding a slave through the street. Even though he’s from Skypiea, Urougue knows the score when it comes to Celestial Dragons. He knew it spelled trouble. The best thing to do would be to kneel and wait until he passed through.

This one seemed to be the brother of the gross daughter who wanted a Giant slave. I don’t know the guy’s name yet, but the daughter is called Shalria. She’s headed somewhere with her father and left the brother lagging behind.

Now this guy. This guy.

He stopped doctors and nurses from running across the street with a seriously ill patient because showing respect towards him was more important than the life of a commoner. Then he kicked the seriously ill patient and eyed up one of the nurses.

After appraising her like a fucking car, or something, he decided he would make her his thirteenth wife. Oh, and he was fed up of wives one through five, by the way and would be sending them back to the commoners. (They’ll be jumping for joy, I bet).

The fiance of the nurse came screaming out of his shop, begging the Celestial Idiot to let her go. And he got shot. Just for talking back.

Just as I wanted to reach through the screen and punch him myself, guess who wandered along the street, shirt open and swigging rum?

Zoro!

The Celestial Butthole stared at Zoro, open-mouthed and apoplectic.

Then Zoro said something amazing.

He stopped in front of the Celestial Dragon, looked at him like he was something pungent and squishy he’d stood on, and said: “What? You need directions, or something?”

Oh, how I cheered!

I cheered even harder when the Celestial Shit attempted to pull his gun on Zoro and Zoro was just too fast for him and almost - almost! - cut him down to size.

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Only the timely acting skillz of Jewelry Bonney staved off an omnishambles of shit hitting the fan. As of now, the Celestial Dragon guy believes Zoro is dead, which is killing me, but it’s for the best. The Strawhats definitely don’t want an admiral on their tail again. Aokiji the last time was bad enough.

What was interesting was the other Supernovas’ reaction to the Strawhats. “I heard their crew’s crazy,” Urougue said. Zoro picking a fight with a Celestial Dragon has definitely cemented that reputation. And Zoro isn’t even the captain of the crew. What must Strawhat Luffy be like??

I can’t wait until they find out.

It’d be fun to see how each Supernova pictures Luffy right now, just before they (inevitably?) meet him.

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Little known fact: before Toy Story 3, Lotso the Bear was a trafficker in the OPverse.